she turns partly away, setting down her tea on the pretense of fixing her blanket, which has started to slip. it gives her a moment to think.
Megumi does trust her. he told her so himself. that, to him, she was a light in the darkness.
the disconnect that remains between the person she feels like and the person he seems to see is still uncomfortable. disconcerting.
Maybe I am talking about someone different, but that's the Lortel I know. I don't think that's wrong. The person you had to be to survive...that doesn't have to be the person you are forever, does it? ]
I'm sure he'd argue otherwise, but he's been better for me than I've been for him, I think. He's my good thing, [ she murmurs, feeling silly for saying it yet nevertheless that she should say it.
because they've both led lives where "good" has been thin on the ground, and she wouldn't trade his presence in her world for any amount of money.
because it's a good thing he's still here, and she wishes very much that he felt the same way. ]
[His mouth stretches into a wide grin. If they knew each other a bit better he would tease her for expressing such sappy emotions. Not that he's done much better. It's been a sappy kind of conversation. But it's also helped settle any questions he's had about her and where she stands with Megumi.]
He tends to sell himself a bit short. I've been nothing but trouble for him since day one and he still hasn't given up on me.
[Which is why he'll do whatever he has to to make sure they get their date night.]
If you reconsider about the dinner, just let me know. Or if you need help with anything else. I'll be around.
He thinks the world of you, Yuji. More, if I could think of a way to phrase it. You're the absolute last person he'd ever give up on.
[ because you wouldn't give up on him, she thinks, and he's so dead certain of that he'd implied as much even when trapped in the darkness at the bottom of his own soul. even at his most hopeless and helpless.
if anything, he'd been more worried about Yuji than himself. how bizarre, for Yuji to suggest such a thing even in jest.
not that she blames him, but it does make her wonder if he's truly aware of the depths of Megumi's esteem for him. ]
... though you're not wrong about how he sells himself short. I'm sure he'd refute most, if not all, of the nice things I say about him. [ her smile warms her face. ] Don't tell him I said this, I'd only because he'd deny it, but I truly think I'm a better person, because of him. Or maybe it's simply that he makes me want to be a better person.
[ but at last, he'll get a nod for his offer. ]
I know. Thank you, Yuji. Maybe next time things are quiet we can plan something nice for him?
[It's difficult for him to see past his own mistakes and their damaging results. He doesn't doubt Megumi's friendship or his loyalty. He simply doesn't think he deserves it. And now Megumi has all the knowledge he needs to know that too. The fact that he hasn't written Yuji off by now is a testament to his character.]
He would definitely deny it. There have been times when our views have clashed. But I've never thought badly of him for it. He thinks things through, and he has a clear sense of morality. He's one of the best people I know.
[He returns her nod with two quick, excited nods of his own.]
Definitely! And for you too. [It's just as much her date.]
[ then they're quite firmly in the same boat of thinking themselves unworthy of his esteem. when he'd very likely think the same about them.
what a tangled web their misgivings weave.
he's one of the best people I know.
her heart squeezes. she glances away, thoughtful. ]
I just wish we could convince him of that.
[ that he is good.
that he has value to offer outside of his abilities and Zenin name.
that he's enough, exactly as he is.
sigh.
conceding to necessity (and the fact that Megumi is very definitely wondering where the hell she went by now), Lortel will pick up the tray that carries their breakfasts. ]
... what I mean is ... I think he'd like it if we all prepared dinner, here. Something small, and quiet, but ... with the people he cares about. He could use the reminder...
[ it's not that she's opposed to a dinner date or anything. it's that she's more concerned with his wellbeing than her dating life,
[ she's melted over into a sincere, touched little smile at the gesture, the warmth of it enough to soften the shape of her eyes.
it's not the gesture itself, really, so much as how naturally it came to Yuji to do it.
she'll lead them into the hallway, and pause one more time before parting. ]
Thank you, Yuji.
[ the only gift she can give him for his kindness is a piece of her trust. it's more than she can afford, and less than he deserves.
it surprises her less and less with each passing day, really. Megumi wouldn't so obviously think the world of him if he weren't a genuinely good person. it's no wonder. ]
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she turns partly away, setting down her tea on the pretense of fixing her blanket, which has started to slip. it gives her a moment to think.
Megumi does trust her. he told her so himself. that, to him, she was a light in the darkness.
the disconnect that remains between the person she feels like and the person he seems to see is still uncomfortable. disconcerting.
Maybe I am talking about someone different, but that's the Lortel I know. I don't think that's wrong. The person you had to be to survive...that doesn't have to be the person you are forever, does it? ]
I'm sure he'd argue otherwise, but he's been better for me than I've been for him, I think. He's my good thing, [ she murmurs, feeling silly for saying it yet nevertheless that she should say it.
because they've both led lives where "good" has been thin on the ground, and she wouldn't trade his presence in her world for any amount of money.
because it's a good thing he's still here, and she wishes very much that he felt the same way. ]
no subject
He tends to sell himself a bit short. I've been nothing but trouble for him since day one and he still hasn't given up on me.
[Which is why he'll do whatever he has to to make sure they get their date night.]
If you reconsider about the dinner, just let me know. Or if you need help with anything else. I'll be around.
no subject
He thinks the world of you, Yuji. More, if I could think of a way to phrase it. You're the absolute last person he'd ever give up on.
[ because you wouldn't give up on him, she thinks, and he's so dead certain of that he'd implied as much even when trapped in the darkness at the bottom of his own soul. even at his most hopeless and helpless.
if anything, he'd been more worried about Yuji than himself. how bizarre, for Yuji to suggest such a thing even in jest.
not that she blames him, but it does make her wonder if he's truly aware of the depths of Megumi's esteem for him. ]
... though you're not wrong about how he sells himself short. I'm sure he'd refute most, if not all, of the nice things I say about him. [ her smile warms her face. ] Don't tell him I said this, I'd only because he'd deny it, but I truly think I'm a better person, because of him. Or maybe it's simply that he makes me want to be a better person.
[ but at last, he'll get a nod for his offer. ]
I know. Thank you, Yuji. Maybe next time things are quiet we can plan something nice for him?
no subject
He would definitely deny it. There have been times when our views have clashed. But I've never thought badly of him for it. He thinks things through, and he has a clear sense of morality. He's one of the best people I know.
[He returns her nod with two quick, excited nods of his own.]
Definitely! And for you too. [It's just as much her date.]
no subject
what a tangled web their misgivings weave.
he's one of the best people I know.
her heart squeezes. she glances away, thoughtful. ]
I just wish we could convince him of that.
[ that he is good.
that he has value to offer outside of his abilities and Zenin name.
that he's enough, exactly as he is.
sigh.
conceding to necessity (and the fact that Megumi is very definitely wondering where the hell she went by now), Lortel will pick up the tray that carries their breakfasts. ]
... what I mean is ... I think he'd like it if we all prepared dinner, here. Something small, and quiet, but ... with the people he cares about. He could use the reminder...
[ it's not that she's opposed to a dinner date or anything. it's that she's more concerned with his wellbeing than her dating life,
and isn't that something, for someone like her. ]
no subject
It would be nice to have a reason to bring everyone in the dorms together. His expression clears and he offers her a grin.]
Sounds good! We can figure out the details another time. I don't want to keep Megumi from his breakfast.
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Oh, my. What a gentleman.
[ she's melted over into a sincere, touched little smile at the gesture, the warmth of it enough to soften the shape of her eyes.
it's not the gesture itself, really, so much as how naturally it came to Yuji to do it.
she'll lead them into the hallway, and pause one more time before parting. ]
Thank you, Yuji.
[ the only gift she can give him for his kindness is a piece of her trust. it's more than she can afford, and less than he deserves.
it surprises her less and less with each passing day, really. Megumi wouldn't so obviously think the world of him if he weren't a genuinely good person. it's no wonder. ]
I'll keep it in mind.